Eloise spent most of her days strolling the quiet gardens of MorningTown; watching the flowers bloom and her beloved dog Peggy chase butterflies. For you see, Eloise was waiting.

Why was she waiting? I hear you ask!

Well, her beloved Prince John had left a mere 2 weeks and 3 days ago on an epic 3 month and 2 week adventure to far away lands where he was to face large crowds of people and win them over with his good looks and princely talents. Luckily John was to travel with a band of 10 merry, musical and delightful men who would keep him safe and entertain the people whilst he wrote lengthy letters to Eloise.

As expected, Eloise was quite sad when John left but endeavoured to remain busy and fulfilled whilst he was away conquering dragons and eating strange foreign foods.

It was not easy for a girl to idle away the hours but Eloise was relatively clever and had decided to join an organisation where she would learn the magical arts of Stage Management *gentle tinkling noise*…

This was an exciting prospect for Eloise because for many years she had been under a wicked witches curse that made her feel as though she was very very sleepy ALL the time. After a very lengthy and at times, disheartening battle Eloise overcame the evil spell that was put upon her and was well enough to start needlepoint and fortnightly dances again. With a clear, un-sleepy head and a dashing Prince by her side Eloise was ready to take on the world and learn how to politely but firmly ask people not to be so loud whilst backstage.

Eloise thought of her Prince every day and dreamt of him every night and was excited to learn that he had overcome his very first dragon and had won over the kind peasants in a town called Cloppenburg. The people cheered and asked for this new Prince to sign their belongings and pose for sketches. Eloise was overcome with pride! Even though her John would be away for many more weeks Eloise was pleased that his journey was going so well and that despite the geographical distance they still spoke every day and loved each other just as much as when they were physically together.

Eloise had much to be excited for whilst her Prince was away but the thing she looked forward to most was April the 29^th, for this was the day that Prince John would arrive back from his epic journey! They would dine on home cooked foods and laugh at their own amusing in-jokes, dance around the living room and just generally be in good cheer. If Eloise was lucky she might get to ride off into the sunset alongside John in his trusty steed Nelly.

Until then she would cheer herself with many a visitor, exacerbating puzzles and the preparations for her demanding studies.

What an exciting start to 2013 for Eloise. Who knows where her life will lead her and what thrilling adventures she shall embark upon…

Stay tuned though, because I’ll be sure to tell you all as it happens

Elise  Eloise

xx

HOWEVER… I was in a great mood despite that fact. Before I tell you why I should really start out with a heartfelt apology over my complete lack of blogging (again). It is with good reason though. I promise!

This year has been a huge turning point with my CFS. I’ve done more this year than I have in the last 6 years. I’ve stage managed a musical program called ‘Starbound’, I’ve directed and stage managed a brand new Australian musical written by my sister, One More Year (I even pulled off a 16 hour day in that time!), I’ve travelled overseas with my best friends (you can read all about it at my beautiful travel buddies travel blog here: http://amyandtearlachtravels.wordpress.com/), I’m about to move house (again), I’ve socialised my little bum off and I’ve decided to enrol in university for next year. But most importantly amongst all of those things: I fell in love.

It’s not very often you get to be with a man who can whip up a banoffee pie, buy aromatherapy soap for your mum, withstand a sword showing ‘ceremony’ in the garage with your dad, entertain the whole family with a bevvy of alter egos, play fetch for hours with your beloved dog, begrudgingly befriend your slightly asshole-ish cat, massage your feet (willingly), heat up wheat packs, drive you around in search of delicious baguettes, make you laugh at least 5 times a day, leave you beautiful heart felt messages secretly in your notes, make you feel completely and utterly beautiful even when you’ve wearing oversized track suit pants and a stained t-shirt, a man who you can go dream home shopping with, tell all your secrets to, giggle in the middle of an argument with and a man that you wake up to and feel a rush of excitement when you see his face because you forgot how much you were in love whilst you were asleep. But somehow I got him, and it makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

His name is Jack. This is us in Europe:

So I do apologise for being such a lazy blogger but life is exciting and wonderful and new and brilliant and BUSY! That’s not to say I don’t have any bad days, because they do crop up occasionally, but I’m just enjoying my life as it is. If this is the best my health gets then I’m so very lucky because it’s enabled some wonderful things to happen. Don’t give up. No matter how dim, there is ALWAYS, absolutely always, light at the end of that goddamn tunnel.

I’ll try to blog soon…

Elise

It’s 2012 and I’m a little confused as to how we got here. I only finished school last year right? But alas, no, it is my 5-year reunion at the end of this year and I don’t know where the time went. I have to say though, 2012 is shaping up to be a promising looking year. First off I’m feeling a little bit better which is a huge plus and just recently I worked as a Stage Manager for Starbound 8. What an absolute pleasure that was, I felt in my element being in a theatre again and I met some of the most wonderful people and got to watch some very talented young ladies and gentlemen rip up the stage for 3 shows. I can’t wait to work on another show now!

I feel like there has been an influx of new people in my life which has been great and I have to give a special shout out to one of the most diverse, interesting and intellectually stimulating groups that make up our Book Club (don’t knock it before you try it ok?!).  Book Club has fast become the most thrilling thing in my calendar- and I know how silly that may sound but how many times do you get to sit around a table full of clever people discussing, debating and laughing over serious (and not so serious… Peeta or Gale anyone?) topics? It’s rare to sit down with your regular social group and have a chat about racism in today’s society or the psychological impact bullying has. Book Club allows us to be challenged but supported at the same time so I’m definitely looking forward to what will come up at our next meeting.

I wanted this blog to be a bit of an update report really and to check in on the blogosphere, so sorry if I bored you! I hope 2012 is a wonderful one for you all. I hope all the people I love (and even the ones I don’t) get the brilliant things they deserve and have a prosperous, healthy, happy and exciting year. Safe travels to the 60 million people I know going overseas this year and I will endeavour to blog a little more frequently and not leave it to 2013.

Until then my lovely loves,

Yours (when I have time to blog that is…)

Elise

xoxx

Lemon Slice 

This is my new favourite baked good and I can’t really call it baked because there is no baking required. Just a bit of mixing and putting it all in the fridge. Get on it because it’s simple and really bloody yummy!!

Ingredients

*Note: I didn’t have my can of condensed milk to photograph but just use your imagination!

• 1/2 cup condensed milk
• 100g butter
• 200g Granita biscuits
• 1 cup desiccated coconut
• 1 lemon rind, finely grated
• ICING
• 2 cups Icing sugar mixture
• 40g butter, softened
• 1 Lemon, juiced

Method:

1. Grease and line a slab pan. Place condensed milk and butter in a small pan over low heat and melt the butter whilst stirring constantly. (The condensed milk catches really easily if the temperature is too high)

2. Place biscuits in a food processor and process until biscuits are in fine crumbs. Combine the biscuits, coconut and 2 teaspoons of the lemon rind and give a quick mix. Add the hot butter/condensed milk mix and stir until completely combined.

3. Press the mix into the pan and put in the fridge for an hour or until the base is firm.

4. To make Lemon icing: put icing sugar, butter and 2 and a half tablespoons of lemon juice in a bowl. Beat until smooth. Spread over the slice base and refrigerate  for another 30 minutes or so. Cut and serve!

This slice is best kept in an airtight container and left in the fridge so the icing doesn’t melt.

In the last 2 months or so I feel as though I’ve had life lessons heaped on me with a gigantic shovel. My hearts been bruised, my comfort zone tested, my fears challenged, my limits pushed and my ability to learn from them has been greatly expanded. Sometime I wish I could be a brat about the harder things in life and lie on the floor kicking and screaming until someone fixes it for me, but in so many ways that becomes the harder choice. If I indulge my 5 year old tantrum thrower then I miss the good parts of the experiences and I lose out on gaining a bigger insight into my own self. It may seem like the more challenging choice to move on, to forgive, to let go, or to look at something objectively but in the end it seems as though those tough bits are all the more precious because of what you gained in the end.

I don’t mean to sound wanky or preachy and I also don’t expect you to brush off difficult moments in life with a nonchalant attitude but I guess I want you to look at all those tricky bits and imagine where you would be or what kind of person you would have turned out as if you hadn’t wholly explored the delightfully twisty road that is life. I know I wouldn’t change any of my experiences for the world as they’ve shaped me and the way I live. It has lead me down some exciting paths and brought me the people that I love and cherish, it has tested me in ways I never knew I could be tested and it has defined the way I view the world.

I no longer look apprehensively at the future because whatever it has to throw at me I’m willing to face it head on and take what lessons I can from it. And if every so often I have to let out my inner tantrum diva to deal with a crisis then I know I can pick myself up off the floor after a good wail, dust myself off and keep on keeping on. After all, what else can you do? That’s just life!

When I started this blog I (like all first timers) believed I was capable of churning out interesting and amusing pieces once a week, yet I find myself struggling to write once a month! So here I am, attempting a new entry. It’s a bit weird, because for the first time in a long while I’ve been quite busy. Therefore I should have a lot of captivating activities to write about, but am finding it really tricky to get one good blog out of a lot of weird and wonderful social outings.

However, I do have a recipe to share. Stick around because I do promise that I’ll have something worth reading up here soon, but for now I will leave you with something yummy to accompany the beautiful summery weather.

 Thai Beef salad

With the little glimpses of summer we are having lately I figure a deliciously fragrant salad is the perfect accompaniment (that and a nice cold cider!) to the day. It is one of those recipes that have a lot of ingredients going on (don’t let it put you off!!) but ends up as a humble, nutritious and filling evening meal.

Ingredients

• 3 tbs fresh lime juice
• 2 tbs finely chopped palm sugar
• 2 tbs fish sauce
• 1 tbs. sesame oil
• 2 tsp. soy sauce
• 1 ½ tbs finely grated ginger
• 2 small garlic cloves, crushed
• Around 680g beef rump steak (this recipe makes enough for 4, you can use whatever cut of beef that you like the best. It’s up to your taste and budget!)
• 1 x 200g packet of cherry tomatoes, halved
• 1 cucumber, halved lengthways, thinly sliced diagonally
• Half a red onion, cut into very thin slices
• 1 butter lettuce, washed and loosely torn
• 2 handfuls of snow peas, cut diagonally
• 2 carrots, thinly sliced or grated
• Packet of thin rice noodles
• 2 fresh long red chillies, halved, deseeded, thinly sliced lengthways
• 1 bunch fresh mint, leavespicked and torn
• 1 bunch fresh coriander, leaves picked and lightly chopped
• 1 bunch Thai basil, leaves picked and lightly chopped or torn
• 1/3 cup of toasted peanuts, coarsely chopped
• 4 kaffir lime leaves, centre vein cut out and very finely shredded

THINGS I HAVE LEARNT IN 22 YEARS OF BEING…

• You will not die of shame if you get something wrong (even if you feel like you might). Be it on a test, playground gossip or trying to outwit your family whilst watching talking ‘bout your generation.
• My health is more important than social activities
• Not to take anything for granted
• Boys don’t like direct conversation about feelings at 14 years old.
• That you should always push yourself to find out what you’re capable of.
• To try not to regret anything… excepting the time that I got too nervous to perform in my grade 3 play even though I had done everything in my 8 year old powers to get the main role ONLY to give it to my best friend at the time who was unfortunately crap… I still bitterly regret this.
• Only spend time with the people who mean something to you and are worth spending the energy on. Life is too short to hang out with dickheads.
• To not drink too much at family Christmases
• Sisters are awesome and will always listen to you even if you repeat yourself a million times or tell them your silliest innermost thoughts. They will almost always still love you even when you’re grumpy.
• Always pack extra undies when going on holidays. It’s a given that at some point you will run out.
• Friends are precious. Look after the ones you’ve got.
• To be nice to techies. By bringing them food, beer and giving regular praise things get done so much faster.
• Don’t throw cats. I only recently learnt this lesson after an unfortunate incident last week where I gently threw my cat onto the couch where he promptly face planted and wouldn’t look at me for the rest of the day. We have since made up.
• Be kind to your body. It’s the only one you’ve got.
• To learn from every experience and take something away from it, be it good or bad.
• That you can be both sorry and not sorry at the same time.
• That I really am blessed with the most wondrous family and life and wouldn’t change it for the world.

This is a shamefully short list but when reflecting upon what I’ve learnt in 22 years it seems it is quite a bloody lot and I don’t want to bore you with the minute details that I’ve learnt like shoe lace tying and basic mathematics. It’s a few life lessons that are important to me now, so even though it’s short I still wanted to share with you!

I would also like to give special thanks to my wonderful parents today, without which I would literally not be here. A special extra mention to my beautiful mother, who 22 years ago went through an ungodly amount of hours in labour to bring me into this world, only for me to come out looking like my Pops…

When I was growing up I was convinced that I would marry Aladdin. It didn’t really occur to me that he wasn’t real; all I knew was that I wanted to have him sing romantic songs to me and take me on magic carpet rides. The same thing happened when I watched The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.

Then I grew up, and I still kind of wanted to marry them all. BUT I also realised that I would never want to marry a stranger after only one day of knowing them, call me crazy if you want but I’m fussy, it takes me at least TWO days to know if I’m even possibly remotely interested in someone and want to be whisked off to their far off castle.

It had also come to my attention that I wanted to be a kick ass princess. I wanted to know that in between my apple pie baking and daily sweeping that I could wield a sword and fight off the most horrid of beasts. By day I would be a sweet, demure and innocent princess and by night a karate kicking, gymnastic flipping, foul mouthed super woman. Let’s face it, every so often your prince is going to let you down, he’s going to get caught by your evil stepmother who has morphed into a giant dragon, he might even be out cold when you are faced with a tentacled sea monster. So we, the delicate princesses we are, have to have daggers strapped to our ankles and a crossbow stowed somewhere easily accessible (I’m thinking the broom closet by the door… you know, the one that no one ever looks in?).

Now don’t get me wrong, I still want to be rescued every once in a while, but we’ll schedule it in maybe for holidays and Sundays? Or every other weekend? I don’t want to emasculate my poor snookums now do I? And look I really wouldn’t mind a little help with the dishes, I make the apple pie, you clean the pie dishes. It all works out rather nicely don’t you think?

I still have my fantasy of being discovered by the man of my dreams whilst singing a beautiful song, who just happens to be a wealthy prince with impeccable manners and fantastic dress sense.  And I still want to be wooed, sung to and whisked off to exotic locations while wearing beautiful gowns. But on the way I’m happy to slay a few dragons and take down any evil queens who are lurking in the shadows. After all, a girl has to look out for herself.

And as for Happily Ever Afters? I think I’ll make my own.

This fabulous image was something I stumbled upon at http://www.doutorcaligari.com/2011/05/disney-princess-kick-ass.html

They have some other fabulous imagery and some naughty pin up versions of the princesses!

I suppose I’ve always lived an extraordinary life, when I was about 8 I got together with a few kids and started competitively snowboarding, it was a lot of fun, but I had a little crush on my friend Jam and unfortunately it seemed he and Linda were pretty tight. After our snowboarding group disbanded I moved onto bigger and better things. I liked to explore a lot as a child but during one such exploration I ended up licking some guy (he was rather shy, come to think of it) and mum and dad really wanted me to stop eating fruit I found on the ground.

When I reached about 16 or 17 I had a growth spurt and developed rather gigantic boobs, it was a mystery to me how they moved independently of each other but they did and in spite of my knockers being the obstacle they were I went on to compete in beach volleyball against many other well endowed players.  After a few years of skimpy bathing suits and endless volleyball I decided that adventuring would really suit me. I ended up in some pretty far-flung places and mastered the art of gun-toting. By the end of my adventures I was fairly adept at slinging around two shotguns all whilst climbing rather large walls and swinging on oddly available tree vines. After raiding various tombs for interesting artefacts I found myself yet again wanting a new adventure and decided to test out my mettle as an assassin. Turns out I was kind of terrible as I had no idea how to pick pocket successfully and I gave up rather quickly.

By the time I was 19 the world had reached an apocalyptic state and I was forced to fend for myself while in a desperate search for my father. Once reunited I was ready for a new challenge and it seemed I would find it in my discovery of a world full of people who I could control and manipulate. My sister, I had learnt, shared my love of this world but was far more ruthless. I watched in horror as she removed the ladder from a swimming pool and watched as her helpless victims drowned. Another time I was witness to a terrible accident where several of her victims burst into flames after running on a treadmill for hours. After seeing these terrible events I had to move on from this world or risk becoming a sadistic insensitive ruler like my sister Emily.

For the first time in years I found myself at a loss. I was realising that I may not be invincible or have multiple lives, that my dog wasn’t adept at finding dig spots filled with treasure and health potions and worst of all I wasn’t awesome at skateboarding or gun slinging. I was a real life human being. With no save slots. It was time to put down the Nintendo 64 controller/Wii remote/Xbox 360 control/PC mouse and get into the real world. Smell some fresh air, pick some flowers or go to Ballarat to see 4 hours worth of cabaret shows.

Or I could watch all the exciting YouTube trailers for Lara Croft and sharpen my sword in anticipation of some dragon fighting in Skyrim. In fact, I might go ready my Sims for an influx of pets while I wait.

My name is Elise Mercurio and I love video games… *happy sigh*

Ps. I do not have giant boobs that are capable of moving independently of each other, I’m actually convinced that this would be impossible. But amusing?

Suggested snack: Cheese supreme Doritos accompanied by tzatziki.. Get on it!

So during my absence I tried to think of a blog to write but I really had trouble because I ended up playing LA Noire instead… oops. Then when I got bored of playing that I started playing The Sims 3 Generations and got distracted from writing a new blog yet again… double oops. BUT I’m here now and that’s all that counts right?

But, unfortunately I still can’t think of anything to write that would interest anybody and I really want to read my trashy magazine and eat the left over chinese in the fridge, so today I’m going to love you and leave you with a short and pointless blog but a really good recipe…

Happy cooking!

Chocolate Brownies

Ingredients

• 350g butter
• 350g 64% chocolate
• 5 large eggs
• 1 vanilla pod, split in half and seeds scraped
• 450g castor sugar
• 200g plain flour
• 250g of macadamia and walnuts chopped (or any nuts that you like)

Method

Turn oven on to 160 degrees Celsius, line and grease a slice tin and set aside.

Combine chocolate and butter in a bowl over a saucepan of gently simmering water until melted.

Put eggs, sugar and vanilla in an electric mixing bowl and beat until really really super light and fluffy

Pour the melted chocolate and butter mix into the egg mix, add the flour and nuts then gently fold until everything is combined.

Pour into a prepared tray and put into the preheated oven. Bake for 40 minutes or until the top is flaky and the brownie feels spongy but not wobbly or undercooked.

Remove from the oven and cool- this is important because hot brownies are almost impossible to slice so be patient!! (It’s well worth the wait!)

Share with friends (or hide them in the cupboard and tell no one…)

I started thinking about the topic of boyfriends today because a) I don’t have one and b) people keep asking me if I do and if not then who’s my type and what do I want? The answer is that I don’t really know in REAL LIFE whereas in my imagination I have it all sorted. I said to someone the other day that in my head I’m quite shallow but in reality I’ve been interested in many different varieties of boy and to be honest none of them are going to be the next Superman…

Anyway… moving on. I decided to write a checklist, so that if my ideal man is trawling the blog sites and stumbles across this then he’ll know how to find me. So, here is my man checklist.

• Must be taller than me (I’m 5’7 so it’s not too much of a stretch)
• Be good looking enough for me to want to remove my clothes within minutes of meeting
• Be funny. And I mean seriously, actually, really funny. I’m one of those awful people who silently laugh or doesn’t laugh at all and then after something funny happens I will usually say, “Huh, that was amusing”. If you can make me genuinely have a good giggle then you are in with a shot.
• Be perfectly imperfect. I’m not one for the pretty boy ‘all American’ good looks guy. I like the English ‘my nose isn’t quite straight and a few of my teeth are a little crooked’ kind of dude.
• Which brings me onto my next point… be English. Or be really really super good at putting on an English accent.
• Must be good at at least ONE manly activity i.e. Chopping wood or changing a tyre. Even if you just look at a car and say vaguely technical words and sound masculine then that will probably suffice.
• Be manly- I like a guy who smells good and knows how to put on a nice clothing ensemble but other than that I don’t want to fight for mirror time or wait for him to perfect his cravat.
• Have a decent IQ score or know lots of useless trivia, it is fun to have intelligent and lively conversation- I don’t care how attractive you are, if we can’t have a decent debate or talk about if Chris Lilley’s social commentary is funny anymore then it’s just not going to keep me interested.
• Be nice to my pets, if you show love towards my doggies and kitties then I will look kindly on you and think you are kind of wonderful.
• Be good at listening, because I talk. A lot. Like all the time. About nothing particularly interesting sometimes. But I still like to be listened to. And I WILL know if you zone out (even on the phone…)
• Get along with my family no matter how crazy you think they are. I love them and I talk to them about everything so you have to make an effort or Dad will get out his samurai swords… seriously.
• Get along with my friends because they are ridiculously cool people and will put up with anyone that I like because they love me, but if they love you as well then that will just be the cherry on top of the cake.
• Don’t think my CFS is a huge obstacle. I can still do stuff! I’m just not going clubbing with you and if I don’t feel up to going out, dinner and snuggling (and other stay at home fun activities… [work it for yourself]) at home is good enough for me so theoretically it should be for you too.
• Be lovely and be whoever you are because that is what I will like you for, English accent or otherwise.

And that is my list. Please don’t take it too seriously because in all honesty I’m quite likely to walk down the street and fall in love with an effeminate Russian man with perfectly aligned teeth, an IQ of 100, an allergy to all animals and no sense of humour. And, if by some divine miracle you know the man my list has just described… GIVE HIM MY GODDAMN NUMBER!!!